“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Target vs. Walmart
Saturday, August 2, 2008

I've always loved Target. I've always avoided Wal-Mart.

Target is happy (Who wouldn't like all that red?), and the buyers for Target seem to understand very well that even we cheap folks like our housewares to look stylish and cool. The prep-school tennis moms shop at Target with pride. Targets are well-lighted, clean (even the toilets), and they always smell like new plastic, no matter if it's in Bismark, N.D. or Fort Myers, FL. Target has a house brand of boxed wine that we feel free to serve at parties. Their crusty sourdough bread actually tastes San Francisco-sour.

Wal-Mart: The lighting is grayer, the clientele fatter (Sorry, but it's true. Take a look next time you go in.). At Wal-Mart you will find more tattoos (including butt caps, those tattoos women sport over the crack of their behinds) and parents who are yelling to their children, "Shut up! I said, 'Shut up!'" I realize this sounds harsh, but a self-appointed critic-at-large such as myself needs to point these things out. For the record, Wal-Mart does have some good produce in their grocery section, but the rest of the store feels ... well, it feels more like a communist-government-run supply warehouse where form not only follows function but it is absent altogether.

Wal-Mart: "You want coffee pot? HERE is coffee pot!"
Target: "Coffee Pot? Certainly. Try this one designed by Michael Graves. Or would you instead prefer this French press?"

They're so different that I like to use Wal-Mart and Target as a classification tool. For example, Costco is to Target, as Sam's Club is to Wal-Mart.

Another: Tulsa is to Target as Oklahoma City is to Wal-Mart.

Another: Barnes and Noble is to Target as Books-a-Million is to Wal-Mart.

Another: Rochester is to Target, as Buffalo is to Wal-Mart.

Another: California Pizza Kitchen is to Target, as Arizona Pizza Kitchen is to Wal-Mart.

Hey...what's that sound? Oh, it's the alarm of my stereotype gauge going off.

So do you agree with me? Disagree? Let me have it!


Blogger jann said...

I don't know what this does to your Rochester-Buffalo theory, but up here in Rochester, "butt caps" are called tramp stamps.
Especially by those of us who don't have them.

August 2, 2008 at 1:16 PM  
Blogger jackiesmom said...

..and not only that! WalMart management is telling employees to vote Republican, because a Democrat would bring in union organizers. I, for one, will never shop at WalMart again; "no, nor any of my folk."

August 3, 2008 at 8:33 PM  

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