“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

This'll Be Our Secret, Honey
Thursday, August 14, 2008

My daughter knew things ... bad things ... long before she should have, and it's my fault. One of her first spoken words, for example, would get most kids kicked out of pre-school, or at least sent home for the day.

My wife had warned me to clean up my mouth around our baby-turning-toddler. "She absorbs everything you're saying," she said. "You need to stop cussing in the car."

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... sure, Carol, yeah, thanks a lot for your concern, blah, blah, blah ...

And then one day, some idiot pulled out in front of me in the supermarket parking lot. "You ...!!" I yelled, stopping myself before finishing the sentence with a cuss word. "You! YOU! ... YOU! ... YOU!" (I felt constipated ... unable to finish something I so desperately needed to finish.) "YOU... YOU!! ... YOUUUUUU ..."

And at this point my not-yet-2-year-old daughter pulled the binky from her mouth and finished my sentence for me.

"Douche bag!" she yelled.

Wife, 1.
Husband, 0.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have tried levying fines in our household to help curb cussing. Might be a good idea for you?

August 14, 2008 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

We're trying this. Started with a quarter per word, and that didn't work. We're now up to a dollar.

August 14, 2008 at 5:03 PM  

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