“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Booze and Waistline Watch: Day One
Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Okay, you voyeuristic weirdos! Usually, when it comes to reading blogs, most of you are night crawlers; most of the hits to this blog occur after 9 p.m.

BUT NOT TODAY. Oh, no! You can't wait to see how Ad did in his first night of rationing his gin content, as he promised in yesterday's blog. Let's all luxuriate in his misery and failure!

Actually, I did just great, thanks very much. I had one Tervis Tumbler (the smaller, squatty size) of gin with lemon and bitters. I'm trying to cut back on calories to melt this muffin top of mine so I didn't have Tonic. All in all I would say I had four ounces, BUT IT WAS IN ONE GLASS! And then I switched to Crystal Light. (pomegranate-cherry flavor with NATURAL flavoring ... yeah, right: natural. The reason we Boomers and Gen X'ers like Crystal Light is because it tastes like Kool-Aid ... fake-flavored sugar water ... which we drank as kids, so don't be trying to make it taste natural, please.)

TANGENT: A note on Tervis Tumblers. These are very popular in the tropics because they are insulated and therefore prolong the life of an ice cube. They also do not leave rings on the coffee table. And the best thing about them: They are guaranteed for life. If one breaks you simply take it into a Tervis Tumbler store in Florida and they let you exchange it for free. The other cool thing about them is that they all have tacky, tropical-motif appliques floating in between the two layers of plastic: hibiscus flowers, alligators, sea shells, gulls, etc. Very retro-looking and well worth the price. Any good cocktail aficionado loves them and has his favorite. Mine is the lizard tumbler. END OF COMMERCIAL. And, no, I did not get paid for this. But I should.

Yes, so I'm thinking my good behavior probably helped me lose six pounds last night. Maybe even more. At this rate I'm going to be able to melt my muffin top and finally get to wear my dream costume for Halloween:

Yep. Mr. Clean. I'm going to need to dye my eyebrows, though. Mr. Clean is very cool.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ad: Not related so much to this post (but I think you'd look great as Mr. Clean (though your language would still be filthy)), but scientists in Europe are gettign ready to fire up this super collider thing tomorrow morning. There is great concern it could generate a black hole and suck up the entire earth.

If THAT's not a reason to have 3-4 G&Ts tonight, what is??

September 9, 2008 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No need to dye your eyebrows. The best way to come up with "costume" white eyebrows (as for Santa?) is with white shoe polish and a tiny little brush (Or an old toothbrush. Makes 'em thicker and whiter than any kind of dye job could ever do.
You'll make a wonderful Mr. Clean!

September 9, 2008 at 4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drinking less should enable you to drink better gin. Opt for that. It's sad how you claim not to like Hendricks with the rose petals and cucumber anymore.

September 9, 2008 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Ad's replies:

To Scott: ACCKKKKKK! I will start worrying about this IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

To Anonymous at 4:42: Great idea with the shoe polish. Can toothpaste work in a pinch? Thanks.

To Anonymous at 5:15: I want everyone to know that I am VERY picky about the gin I drink. My favorite is Tanqueray, and I do like Hendricks, but I remember it being too smooth. I prefer a gin that is rougher, more steel-wool-like in character; that's why I don't like the ubiquitous Bombay Sapphire. But Hendricks does have that nice aroma...hmmmm. The only problem is that it has become too mainstream, and you know how I resist those things that are too mainstream....
Hmmm, what to do?
Make my own 'shine?

September 9, 2008 at 5:48 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

And My GOSH!! How can I admit to liking a gin infused with rose petals when I'm getting ready to tour with a book called MAN OF THE HOSUE?!?!?!?

September 9, 2008 at 5:55 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Whoops: That's MAN OF THE HOUSE, obviously.

September 9, 2008 at 5:56 PM  

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