“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

White Trash Diaries: Post #2773B
Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Okay, here we go again:
Further Proof that Florida is the White-Trash Crime Capital of the World:
Or: From the "Would-You-Please-Try-to-Control-Yourself?" Department:
This from my hometown newspaper, The News-Press in Fort Myers:

"A 37-year-old Fort Myers man was arrested late Friday after Lee County Sheriff's deputies say after becoming irate that his order at Wendy's had not been taken properly, he punched out the drive-through window. Lawrence Sanders, who lives on a house boat on Fisherman's Wharf, was arrested on a charge of criminal mischief by property damage between $200 and $1,000. According to deputy Felicia Hyde, it was around 9:15 p.m. when witnesses said Sanders came screeching through the drive-through line, parked in the lot, marched in the restaurant and began screaming. He then exited the restaurant, approached the drive-through window and punched it with such force that he broke it, causing about $500 in damage. A witness was able to scratch down the tag number of the Toyota station wagon, which allowed deputies to track the owner to his sail boat, "The Great Duck," which was located near the Bonita Bills boat dock. Hyde approached and asked if he was Lawrence, to which he reportedly replied, "Yeah, I hear you are looking for me, all I did was break a window." He then showed her his hand, which had been injured, cutting his finger to the bone. He was arrested and released Saturday morning on $1,000 bond."

And now, Judge Ad weighs in on the situation: "Really, Lawrence ... even though they forgot your extra pickles is this any way for a grown man to act? What are you going to do next time you're at Best Buy and a salesman mistakenly brings you a DVD of "Gandhi" instead of "Benji," hmmmm? Kick out a TV screen? ... I'm thinking that this court has no choice but to force you to rename your boat from The Great Duck to The Great Dick. No, no ... that might end up being beneficial to you ... so we will call it The Great Schmuck."


3 Comments:

Anonymous Kerry Madden said...

This really made me laugh. Thank you. I guess I can't get enough of these kinds of sad and yet pretty hilarious stories. Thank you, Ad. I liked your "Gandhi" and "Benji" thoughts too...Can't make it up!

November 25, 2008 at 11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ouch..."Florida is the white trash crime capital OF THE WORLD" ....dang, Ad! We'll be at Bonita Bill's Friday night and maybe even Sunday afternoon for a grouper sandwich before heading back to Orlando....would love to see you again...but maybe (and this is just a thought) leave the snobby "Da" in your F150. I hope you give Larry another chance...he works hard for the money, so hard for it, honey.
LU

November 25, 2008 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Hey, guys...pick up a newspaper in Florida ON ANY RANDOM DAY, and you will find crimes of the heart/loins/pocketbook that boggle your mind.

Lu: Oddly enough, the three of us are going to Orlando for the holiday...going to do that theme park thang one more time before Haley flees the nest and heads to college. Enjoy the sandwich!! That location is so cool; thanks for letting us know about it. We've taken many friends there.

November 25, 2008 at 2:19 PM  

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