“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Grove Park Inn SUCKS
Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Linc Menner, the protagonist of my novel "Househusband," is on holiday and reports the following:

We'd heard lots of great things about this historic resort in the North Carolina mountains (Grove Park Inn in Asheville) and finally am having a chance to try it out. Our surprises so far:

-Yes, there is a spa, but guests must pay another $55 to even walk into the thing. And it's very strange: a fake grotto with fake stone and fake waterfalls ... just WEIRD. It's like something out of an Austin Powers movie.
-Yes, there is a swimming pool, but you have to take a bus to get there.
-Yes, there is a sports center, but it looks and smells like a YMCA. Good free-weight section, though.
One of the best views I've ever seen at a resort, but there's no place to sit that's not next to an ash tray. No place to have breakfast outside. And don't sit on those green adirondack chairs -- OOPS! The PAINT IS WET!
-Yes, there is a huge, very-cool stone fireplace that would accommodate a Buick, but the rest of the decor is ... well ... let me say that they hired the same decorators who outfitted the Holiday Inn by the airport in North Platte, Nebraska. We're talking Holidome fake plants. We're talking indoor-outdoor carpeting on the walls of the elevator. Lots of bad oak, too. We're talking fern bar circa 1974.

Now all of this would be okay and even cute ... if we weren't paying SO MUCH!!


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