“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Those weird emails from African prisoners...
Saturday, August 15, 2009

Okay, I'm sure many of you have received emails from anonymous African women who say they are enslaved. But this one caught my attention, largely because of the last few lines. (I have a weakness for sentences with the phrase "blood child".) I quote directly (These are not my typos):

"Dearest one, I am writing to let you know that there is something very much important which I will like us to discuss and it is all about my life and my situation here in Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire. In a brief i am Miss Emma Kanga of 20years, daughter to Late Mr and Mrs Peter Kanga of Mawere,Muzarabani-Zimbabwe , who was abducted on the faithful day and tortured to death by alleged Zanu PF militias ... I ran away from there which I am here in Abidjan Asylum camp due to the untimely death of my beloved parents, and ever since then I have been here with out any help or care. Moreover, before the death of my father he made me to understand that he deposited a box containing the sum of US$ 9.500,000 Million here in a custody of a Security and Property Care company which in the document written 'family valuables' I have all the documents backing the claim so I need your urgent help to claim the box and transfer the money into your account for onward investments in your country,also make a very good transparent arrangement for me to come over to your country and contiune my education and take care of me as your own blood child. I am ready to offer you 20% out of the total fund. looking forward to hear from you."

Sounds like a DEAL TO ME! I think I'm gonna do it! Not sure how this scam works, though ... how can they screw me out of my money if I'm putting THEIR money into MY bank account? Maybe it's a ploy to get the account and routing numbers from my checkbook? Am I too naive here, people? Someone, anyone, give me a good reason why I should NOT help Miss Emma and become an instant millionaire.

That money could sure come in handy. I HAVE had my eye on the new F-250 truck at Sam Galloway Ford ... hmmmm! And I just had to shell out some big bucks for a new fence to keep the feral neighborhood brats at bay.

I guess she could sleep in the guest room.


4 Comments:

Anonymous Eirn Cofield said...

Dear Mr. Hudler,

My name is Erin Cofield. I am writing to you to ask that you help me with a very important matter. I am stuck here, in an office, due to the untimely demise of my hopes and dreams. It has come to my attention, though, that my rich step uncle (twice removed) has deposited money into a safe box in Butte, Montana, in the sum of $9 million US dollars. If you will agree to send me $2 million of your own dollars, I can escape from this office and I will wire you the rest of the money- a total of 7 million. I only need enough to escape from prison and realize my dream of writing for a living.... thank you,
Erin Cofield

August 17, 2009 at 3:04 PM  
Anonymous erin cofield said...

Yay- kudos to ME. I misspelled my OWN name... that really doesn't happen that often. But then, it is Monday.

And the word below was "fonding"- who picks these things?!?!?

August 17, 2009 at 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Song Cong O'Tong said...

Erin:

The typo lent an air of credibility to your plea. The folks writing these emails are not the most savvy spellers (english being a second language, perhaps), so I found quite authentic.

Ad: if you send me a million dollars, I'll become your blood child, too.

August 17, 2009 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Dear EIRN/ERIN: Come to the Walmart in North Fort Myers ... and meet me in the meat section of the grocery area ... and then we will drive in my limousine to VERY LARGE AND PROSPEROUS bank in Tampa ...

August 17, 2009 at 7:48 PM  

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