“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Now ... WHERE am I?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The problem of commuting between two homes (Nashville and Fort Myers) is most noticeable in the middle of the night ... when I have to get up to pee.

You know how you can usually do this in pitch-black darkness because you've memorized the path to the toilet, right? Well, this becomes a problem when you're half asleep, and you can't remember which house you're in ... and you stand there, semi-conscious, your eyes closed because you don't want to fully awaken ... trying to remember where in the hell you went to bed that night!

And it's not just two sleeping scenarios I've got to worry about -- it's four. The master in both homes, and then the snore room in both homes, where I often end up.

One night long ago I must have been standing there in my sleep for several minutes, in limbo and unable to determine where I was ... because my wife said something like, "Ad? What are you doing?" ... and I was afraid to move because I didn't want to stub my toe on a piece of furniture or run into a door frame.

I'm thinking adult diapers might do the trick. I can just stay in bed.



3 Comments:

Anonymous Shona Paterson said...

A snore room? My father has one of those. Even with the door closed, everyone can hear him a mile away, so it doesn't mean my stepmother really gets anymore sleep than if she were directly beside the freight train. He's been tested and found to have sleep apnea, but refuses to use "that 'goddamned' machine" - even though he's never tried it. No, my father, a real enlightened male, would rather suffer, make everyone around him suffer, and die earlier. I'm sure that a sensitive male such as yourself would consider other options - and there are more than the machine on the market these days - so you can be around for a long time (and keep enjoying the company of your lovely daughter and wife) and more selfishly, keep writing such engaging and hilarious novels.I'm going to order in the rest through my library - I really enjoyed Man of the House. We tried that scenario in my first marriage. Unfortunately, he felt too esmasculated (and jealous of my success) so things didn't work out.

June 19, 2010 at 2:47 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Hey, Shona...thanks for the kind words. Not sure I'm in the apnea stage yet, but I've toyed with the idea of going through the sleep-trial clinic thing.....
Glad you enjoyed Man of the House. Sorry the man-at-home thing didn't work for you. It's not for every guy. Honestly, it was tough I'm now working on an empty-nest memoir that looks at the whole thing.
Take care.

June 20, 2010 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 20, 2010 at 10:20 AM  

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