“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

I play with my food
Friday, December 17, 2010

The little dab of whipped cream that came with my flan had two blueberries in it. I immediately saw a face and broke a mouth and nose out of some tortilla chips. He's kinda cute, ain't he? (mmm, and mighty tasty, too)

When I was in fifth grade I got in trouble for playing with my food. Mrs. Blodgett (we called her Bloody Blodgett) came over to the table and chastised me for wiggling my square of strawberry jello in my hand.

"Ad Hudler, stop playing with your food!" she said

"Yes, Mrs. Blodgett."

But the second she turned away I did it again. Evidently some teacher gave her some sort of knowing glance because she whipped around, grabbed me by the ear and pulled me and my plate over to the teachers' table.

"You'll eat here every day for the rest of the week," she said.

It was Monday.

I decided that I didn't really need to eat lunch the rest of the week. On Thursday, Mrs. Blodgett stopped me in the hall and said, "I hope we're not causing you to go hungry, Ad."

"Oh, no," I answered. "Just trying to lose a little weight." (Indeed, I was a chubby boy in junior high who wore husky-size pants.)

But I'm still wondering: What's wrong with wiggling your jello? I wasn't throwing it. I eventually would eat it. Whom was I hurting?


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