“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

My Pinocchio Problem
Thursday, December 23, 2010

I've always been good at lying ... comfortable doing so, too. Fiction-writing was a natural fit for me, and it's made memoir-writing all the more difficult because I find myself wanting to bend the truth.

Usually, I get away with my lies -- but on a rare occasion ...

I hadn't been to Costco for nearly 10 years, so I first visited the customer service counter to renew my card.

"Where have you been all this time?" she asked.

"Out of the country," I said. (The answer poured forth with no thought, no planning. I should have said, "I don't like to come in here because I always spend too much money and leave with something I don't need." But I didn't.)

I was happy to leave the lie at that, but she was curious: "Where were you?" she asked.

"Bolivia," I said.

"Doing what?" she asked.

"Working on a cattle ranch," I said.

Meanwhile, she is calling up our account and looking at it on the computer. "You're Carol's husband?" she asked.

"Uhhh........yeah."

"How is she liking her new job in Nashville?"

"Uhhh.....she likes it. ... Excuse me, but how do you know my wife?"

"She was the publisher of the newspaper here for a decade. Of course I know who she is -- she was a big leader in the community. And I've read two of your books," she said.

"Oh," I said.

As she typed into the keyboard, I tried to soften the lie: "Yeah, I'm only in Bolivia maybe six months of the year, actually maybe like five. It's my dad's cattle ranch. I go to help out sometimes. But Carol and I like Nashville a lot."

She smiled and said nothing more. I walked away, feeling as if I were dressed in nothing more than my underwear.

Busted.


1 Comments:

Anonymous Shirley Nothdurft said...

Those lies tend to come back and bite you in the butt Ad.

December 27, 2010 at 11:35 AM  

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