“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Eye of the Tiger
Wednesday, January 26, 2011



My high-school friend, Chalmers, invited me to his birthday party ... at a paintball park.

That's "Extreme Rage" written on top of this truck, which was the park's name until it recently was changed to "Oasis Paintball Park." Hilarious 190-degree name-change, don't you think? Did the new mayor come in and say, "If you don't change that angry serial-killer name we're going to come in and shut you down?"

At any rate, I was totally excited ... until I was handed a gun and mask and it dawned on me that this was NOT laser tag but instead a game in which people would shoot paint-filled bullets at me.
Oh ... and it was in the woods. Full 360-degree exposure.
Oh ... and my glasses did not fit under the mask, so I couldn't see a damned thing.
The bruises don't last long, I was told. It didn't hurt THAT bad.

"How do I know who's on my team?" I said. Everyone looked alike: 17-year-olds in blue jeans and dark-colored shirts.

I found on the ground a long piece of plastic barrier tape. Bright pink. And I made everyone on my side tie a piece of it onto the barrel of their guns so I could tell they were on my side. "Okay," I said. "This is now officially the Susan B. Komen Shoot for the Cure."

In the end, I was the last standing member of my team ... probably because I took off running as fast as I could the second the bell went off to start the game. When I returned I found everyone in the "hit" holding pen and then realized it was up to me to win the game.

Except the only standing person on the other team was in a PAINTBALL UNIFORM! Hardcore dude with canisters of bullets around his belt.

Bang. I'm dead.


2 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

Fluffy fingers! Fluffy fingers!! (Name that movie featuring paintball hijinks!)

January 26, 2011 at 11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Little bit jealous here. It's something I've always wanted to do. Once.

January 26, 2011 at 11:53 AM  

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