“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Ask the Concierge: Question #447A
Saturday, August 30, 2014

What is the most-often-forgotten item that hotel guests fail to pack?

Hoarding for the Incandescent Apocalypse
Tuesday, August 26, 2014

First, they phase out the 75-watt.
Now, they're phasing out the 65- and 40-watt.
I refuse to give up the warm, irreplaceable glow of incandescent.
With respect to Charleston Heston: "I'll give you my incandescents when you pry them from my cold, dead hands."

Monkey Business
Friday, August 22, 2014

....that's the name I've given my bathroom. I got to choose my own wallpaper.

It's become obvious over the past few years that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for it.

At any rate, I need to install a new shower valve, which means someone must cut a hole in the wall, which makes me very sad. I can't replace the wallpaper. It was on clearance. Discontinued. Imagine that.

So, a hole must be made. I'm hoping for a teeny tiny hole, please.

Dear Craigslist: Looking for someone who specializes in arthroscopic plumbing.

How to tell when you have a drinking problem ...
Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Working as concierge in a huge hotel in a bustling entertainment district, I've learned something wonderful about myself, something that makes me sigh with relief ... and please take note, dear wife: Evidently, I don't have a drinking problem after all!

The proof:
I do not vomit on lobby floors.
I do not kiss strangers in elevators.
I do not lose my telephone while trawling the bars of lower Broadway.
I do not run around hotel hallways in my underwear.
I do not pass out, naked, in hallways wearing nothing but a cardigan sweater.

Yes, bartender, thank you -- I will have another.

Sexy New Word
Friday, August 8, 2014

Reading Tom Wolfe's "Back to Blood" right now and came across a word I've never seen: lubricious. Say it out loud -- it even sounds sexy.

And sexy it is: Lubricious: Offensively displaying or intended to arouse sexual desire. Smooth and slippery with oil or a similar substance.

BTW:  My favorite feature of a Kindle is how you can set the cursor on a word, and a New Oxford American Dictionary definition pops up. So easy. So enlightening. So exciting.

Almost, downright ... lubricious.